537. Yesteryear's Queers' Word of the Day #61 - Chicken

Chicken

Young or underage

Jailbait

-1960s-

"When I was chicken, I liked chicken and steak.  Now I'm steak, I only like steak, and I like my steak well aged"

536. Mr. Billy Swallows Action Zones and Snack Sacks

Mr. Billy Swallows and his assistant Dante' DeWitt have just received a shipment of comfortable "action" slacks in versatile 100% Dacron, which Billy says are "100% divine", at remarkable prices!  Their atelier, Suit Up, located off the lobby at Loveless Motel, is well stocked and ready for you to come in for a personal fitting. Tape measure in hand, Dante' is always eager to know whether you dress to the right or left, and personally supervises alterations while you wait, time permitting.  Stop by and get altered today!

Billy and Dante' during a lull in business

Dante' DeWitt, standing: "What possibly motivated you to buy two dozen pairs of synthetic stretchy slacks?"

Mr. Billy Swallows, seated: "The salesman was all over me and demonstrated his 'action zone', and made me write a check on the spot.  Don't worry - it'll bounce, and they'll sell out before we have to worry about it, with this cheap bunch that's been in here lately.  Buying absolute bottom of the range, so give 'em what they want!"

Dante': "Billy Swallows, you are SO bad...what are you reading?"

Billy: "Sports Illustrated, and I'm not reading, just looking at the pictures - love the  jockstrap ads; but Sports? - eeeewwww."

Dante':  "Oh, I know - I got kicked out of gym class for taking too many showers."

Billy: "What are you doing, Dante'?"

Dante': "Looking at this fucking chipped nail...it keeps getting snagged in my sweater - time to go see Dick Gee at Hair and Now, located off the Lobby.  They have a dishy new manicurist. Dick said he does  a good toe job."

Billy: "Dick got that report from me. Where did you get that wedding ring?"

Dante': "I was in town and had to go to the tinkleorium so I went up to the 3rd floor of Macy's, and well you know got hung up giving a blowjob under the stall, and while I was on my back looking up at Mr. Right Now, working his snack sack one ball at a time, he came, while he was jacking his cock, and he spooged on his hand and the ring slipped off his finger, and by the time I realized it had happened he had cum and gone, and there it was on the floor.  I didn't get his name.  Finders keepers, Billy"

Billy: "Nice souvenir - better take it off before someone freaks out."

Dante': "Jealous!  I've already been propositioned three times today because of it. I just lower my voice and speak in one-syllable-word sentences while I readjust with my ring hand."

530. Yesteryear's Queers' Word of the Day #60 - Tossing Beanbags

 

Tossing Beanbags

When masturbating, 

aiming so that cum 

hits a partner's chest or face

-1960s-

"That trick sure was hot but so nervous - I wanted to go around the world with him, but all he wanted to do was toss beanbags, which took about four minutes, and he was gone."

514. Yesteryear's Queers' Word of the day #58 - Juicy Fruit

Juicy Fruit

A gay man

who has diarrhea

-1960s-

"So we all headed over to Boston for the weekend for their Bean Festival and then we went to the flicks to see Montgomery Clift get eaten alive by the natives in Suddenly Last Summer, and you might as well have called us a box of juicy fruits.  Nobody made it to the last scene."

508. Nutbush Campground Soft Opening

 

The soft opening of Nutbush Campground is being conducted by the current class of interns of Loveless Motel Internship Program.  Their graduation contingent on successfully completing a group challenge, they're tasked with venturing out onto the nearly complete Nutbush Campground and finding a tent site. They must scout out sites anywhere on the property, vast by any measure, and lay claim to the perfect spot. Several site styles have been constructed, including full hookup, partial hookup, and "rustic" sites which have absolutely no amenities, relying on a camper's skills to survive in the wild (or more likely what they will chose because it's all they can afford). Interns are scouting the "rustic" variety, hiking to a spot and pitching a tent, where-ever.  These gents decided on the rock pictured above, agreeing, to a man, that it would provide a nice solid floor and drainage in the event of rain.  Never fucking mind that you can't drive a stake into a rock.  

Upon reviewing the collective choice decided upon by the new men, Intern classroom training facilitator Uncle Joe expressed his concern to Jack Leyendecker, the Loveless talent scout. " What the fuck were you thinking, Jack? These guys are idiots! They want to pitch a tent on solid rock!" "Yeah, but their talent, man...they're all very talented!" Nic, the senior manager agrees. He can personally attest to each man's "talent", and has the pictures to prove it. He's instructed Uncle Joe, over whimpering objections and a pouty face, to assist the men in finding ground on a very slight slope offering drainage and on something you can easily pound. Both Intern graduation and the official Nutbush Campground Grand Opening are on schedule, as planned. Good luck, gentlemen!

Looking for a softer spot

Eureka!

A man with something to pound

506. Yesteryear's Queers' Word of the Day #57- In the Closet

 

In the closet

Keeping one's 

sexual preference

status undivulged to

most of one's associates

-1960s-

The Degrees of Gay Self Awareness

and "Coming Out" stages

Consciousness: Horror and revulsion 

at the thought that one might be discovered as "being different"

Fraternity: Secretly seeking out 

the company of others who share one's interests

Concealment: Engaging in activities 

which leave no doubt of one's masculinity

Testing: Taking small steps 

to gauge the reaction of one's associates

Realization: Fully out of the Closet:

I'm here, I'm Queer, get used to it

498. Yesteryear's Queers' Word of the Day #56 - Peacock Palace

Peacock Palace

A men's 

clothing shop 

specializing in 

flamboyant styles

-1960s-

"Have you heard there's a new peacock palace in town that specialized in brocade jock straps? I'm now officially mad about brocade!  You should see the shopkeeper there!  He talked me into one last week.  I'm gonna go down there and see if I can get him to talk me out of it this week"

491. Who are these people? Where am I?

You simply cannot go wrong by putting wood paneling in a trailer house.  Aluminum City tin cans use only the finest materials, as evidenced by the documentary photograph above.  Neighbors seldom have noise complaints because wood absorbs just about every sound you could want it to.  Even the oldest guy in the park won't be calling the front desk at Loveless Motel to complain, and if he did, he knows he'll be told that he does not have a contract to stay in the park indefinitely, that he has only been grandfathered in since the sale of the property to Loveless Motel as a courtesy, and that he should mind his manners and keep his door closed, and stop telling the guy who mows his lawn for free to stay off his lawn.

480. The Department of Complaints Department

From time to time our office receives complaints after a stay, invariably asking for compensation.  This photograph was sent in by an irate guest who says that housekeeping provided his party with an inadequate solution for bathing when, due to plumbing issues during their stay, and overbooking our facilities, the guests were unable to use the communal showers at the Bunkhouse, where they had booked.  Offered to upgrade to a motel room at a slight discount, they declined due to their own budget constraints.

While it is true that we do provide portable bathing tubs upon request, Loveless Motel as determined that the small vessel in the photo the guest sent is not a tub we would have provided  The standard model, The Rub-a-Dub Tub pictured below, is much larger, as anyone can plainly see, and these were available during the guest's stay.  Furthermore, there is no notation on the guest file that a request was made for a portable tub.

Unfortunately the request for a freebee will be denied, and the guest's profile will be appropriately noted. As a gesture of goodwill, the management will include in its condescending and saccharinely worded "Gotcha" form-letter of regret, a 10 percent off coupon for a bar of soap, with an expiration date of April 1, this year.  Of course, guests with complaints should always bring these to the attention of management during a stay, and not after it, but often those things which need not be said do need to be said.  Timeliness of complaints is also addressed  in the teeny tiny fine print of the lodging contract each guest signs at check-in, however the attention of our guests is generally diverted elsewhere, as Psycho Randy, the front desk clerk is notorious for cruising new arrivals while playing pocketpool in full view of his mark during a guest's check-in process

447. Yesteryear's Queers' Word of the Day #50 - Wanda Wandwaver

Wanda Wandwaver

A braggart who

constantly reminds us

of his natural gifts

-1960s-

"That Wanda Wandwaver goes on and on about the size of his Oscar Meyer - the other day he told me he got on the bus at the pier, and standing, turned to look out a window and stabbed a seated midshipman in the eye with it."

442. Narcissus Blatz

A frequent guest in Room 222, the "Beer Heir" Narcissus Blatz stays with us whenever daddy threatens to take him out of the will. We can't quite say that "Narc", as he is known to his Loveless Motel chums, isn't the one who needles dear old dad by having his picture taken by good old "Snap" Wadmacher from Shutter Bug Camera Shop, because he is.  He bundles up a packet of pictures to send back to Milwaukee whenever he stays with us directly, to Daddy Blatz at his brewery office, knowing all his mail is previewed by the supervisor of the mail room.  An officious fussbudget named Milburne Milquetoast, the glorified stamp-licker is known to collect porcelain teacups issued for the coronations of British Monarchs.  Purportedly, according to Narc, Milburne's favorite photos are ones in which Blatz the younger compares his dick size to a bottle, can or rolling pin - anything that's handy.  Dad is jealous - mainly because Narc is fond of Dad's brother, his uncle, who like our picture-boy here is equally well hung and thick, and on more than speaking terms with his nephew. So, it would appear, is Milburne, who spends a lot of time running off to "have a cup of tea" with said uncle.

437. Housekeeping slightly behind - check-ins delayed

We regret to inform those of you who've been waiting to check in by our promised 3 PM time, that due to a shortage of staff in housekeeping, as well as training issues, rooms will be assigned upon arrival but actual occupancy of rooms will be delayed until 7 PM today.  Existing staff  is working feverishly to clear the rooms, but the lack of domestic talent is made obvious by this documentary photo, indicating that when ironing linens, it does help to put the plug into a wall outlet.  Inconvenienced guests will receive a 10 percent discount on one meal in any of our restaurants.

433. Yesteryear's Queers' Word of the Day #48 - Fifi Bag

Fifi Bag

A slit sponge

lubricated with vaseline,

placed inside a baggie,

for fucking, in an emergency 

(as in a prolonged dry spell)

-1960s-

"I'm headed out of town into strange territory, and I hope I remember to take my Fifi bag,

just in case I strike out at Loveless Motel this weekend"

Named in honor of Fifi , the name of every French whore

432. Front Desk to the rescue - the morning after

Busy night last night? Dick on your breath the morning after and you can't find your toothbrush? Call the front desk, young man, and we'll deliver, free of charge on most items such as toothbrushes, and only a slight cost to headache powders and other medicinal over the counter items like Ex Lax, or Pepto Bismol, or douche bags.

 

426. Yesteryear's Queers' Word of the Day #47 - Bona Dish

Bona Dish

In the British 

secret gay language Polari

Bona=Good  Dish=Ass

"Nice Ass"

-1960s-

419. Well balanced meals at Loveless Truck Stop

Every trucker knows that a well-balanced meal is an important part of life on the road. The Cafe at Loveless Truck Stop , open 24 hours, 7 days a  week,  is here for your bacon, eggs and hash breakfast and promises you a tasty start to  your day.  Ask for our Good Buddy Special and let us show you what we mean.

414. Yesteryear's Queers' Word of the Day #46- Margo Polo

Margo Polo

Camp designation 

for any Italian

gay man

-1960s-

"I'll just never understand why that Margo Polo is a bottom.  

What a waste of 8 inches of Italian sausage!"

408. A box of assorted Christmas Cards from Loveless Motel

Head over to Hit and Split for this year's edition of Loveless Motel Christmas Cards - a box of 25 is only $1.50!  We recommend sending them to the friends of those you are crossing off your list this year due to some minor personal infraction, and signing each one "XOXO - Guess Who!"

405. Tobacconist Dick Blunt's question - is this the year?

While you're holed up for the holidays here at Loveless Motel, tobacconist Dick Blunt has a question for you. Is 1969 the year you stop smoking for good?  Stop by Blunt Smoke Shop and Lottery Tickets for a frank discussion of trading your bad smoking habit for one of casual gambling.  Dick's got a blunt with your name on it, located off the lobby. Special discounts for Certified Hustlers!