536. Mr. Billy Swallows Action Zones and Snack Sacks

Mr. Billy Swallows and his assistant Dante' DeWitt have just received a shipment of comfortable "action" slacks in versatile 100% Dacron, which Billy says are "100% divine", at remarkable prices!  Their atelier, Suit Up, located off the lobby at Loveless Motel, is well stocked and ready for you to come in for a personal fitting. Tape measure in hand, Dante' is always eager to know whether you dress to the right or left, and personally supervises alterations while you wait, time permitting.  Stop by and get altered today!

Billy and Dante' during a lull in business

Dante' DeWitt, standing: "What possibly motivated you to buy two dozen pairs of synthetic stretchy slacks?"

Mr. Billy Swallows, seated: "The salesman was all over me and demonstrated his 'action zone', and made me write a check on the spot.  Don't worry - it'll bounce, and they'll sell out before we have to worry about it, with this cheap bunch that's been in here lately.  Buying absolute bottom of the range, so give 'em what they want!"

Dante': "Billy Swallows, you are SO bad...what are you reading?"

Billy: "Sports Illustrated, and I'm not reading, just looking at the pictures - love the  jockstrap ads; but Sports? - eeeewwww."

Dante':  "Oh, I know - I got kicked out of gym class for taking too many showers."

Billy: "What are you doing, Dante'?"

Dante': "Looking at this fucking chipped nail...it keeps getting snagged in my sweater - time to go see Dick Gee at Hair and Now, located off the Lobby.  They have a dishy new manicurist. Dick said he does  a good toe job."

Billy: "Dick got that report from me. Where did you get that wedding ring?"

Dante': "I was in town and had to go to the tinkleorium so I went up to the 3rd floor of Macy's, and well you know got hung up giving a blowjob under the stall, and while I was on my back looking up at Mr. Right Now, working his snack sack one ball at a time, he came, while he was jacking his cock, and he spooged on his hand and the ring slipped off his finger, and by the time I realized it had happened he had cum and gone, and there it was on the floor.  I didn't get his name.  Finders keepers, Billy"

Billy: "Nice souvenir - better take it off before someone freaks out."

Dante': "Jealous!  I've already been propositioned three times today because of it. I just lower my voice and speak in one-syllable-word sentences while I readjust with my ring hand."

498. Yesteryear's Queers' Word of the Day #56 - Peacock Palace

Peacock Palace

A men's 

clothing shop 

specializing in 

flamboyant styles

-1960s-

"Have you heard there's a new peacock palace in town that specialized in brocade jock straps? I'm now officially mad about brocade!  You should see the shopkeeper there!  He talked me into one last week.  I'm gonna go down there and see if I can get him to talk me out of it this week"

478. How you gonna keep em down on the farm?

These gents are what you call organic queers. That is to say, that rural men do what comes naturally. Hours spent alone tilling, plowing, mucking, plucking, shucking, sowing, fertilizing, irrigating and whatever else there is to do to keep a place going, invariably are broken by incidents of body self exploration and awareness. Jacking off in the middle of your newly plowed field while seated on the tractor, while no one is around to witness or tell is a time-honored tradition, and a rite of passage for many, especially when they encounter fellow community men in the act. Curiosity eventually fosters action. Out behind the barn, the farmhands are taking a break for a short masturbation session, learning that its a lot more fun to do with a buddy what up until now was reserved for a farm animal with a nice face. And things are always made more interesting when there's a new hand who's brought into the fold. What goes on out behind the barn is a thing.

The man in the middle is a little more experienced and gets the Loveless Motel Circular that comes every month with news, gossip, pictures, and ads for special deals. He's convinced the other two to book a 3 day weekend and take the 4 hour drive over where he promises he'll act as a tour guide to fellow sodbusters Goober and Bill-Don who are wide-eyed at the prospect of seeing a place where what they do isolated on a tractor or out behind the barn is not the exception, but the norm. They've been told a little but not too much; their mentor has them booked into the Bunkhouse.  Pouring over the circular ads, they can't wait to see some of the fancy duds shown in the spreads for Suit Up and Packaged Goods! Land o' Goshen!, are there people who actually buy store-bought skivvies instead of making them out of feed sacks?

392 Meanwhile, in other news...Paisley!

Packaged Goods!, your source for undergear, located off the Lobby at Loveless Motel, announces its recent acquisition of a warehouse full of paisley print longer length boxer shorts, ensuring the establishment will be able to offer these hopefully popular items for many seasons to come.  These all -rayon practical articles are guaranteed to cause a stir, nay, mockery, where-ever and whenever they are worn.  Don't try this in public.

378. Suit Up Sale just in time for Sweater Weather

Mr. Billy Swallows and his assistant Dante' DeWitt have told us they have a new shipment of sweaters for the cool weather.  Suit Up, the mens' atelier at Loveless Motel, is located off the lobby.   This graphic example should prove to be one of the season's most popular.

364. Adjectives are a man's best friend

Adjectives are a man's best friend. When it comes to personal fashion, look no further than Packaged Goods!, located off the lobby at Loveless Motel.  Carrying a full stock of intimate wear from jockstraps to trusses, in a place where it's hard to tell who wants to do what to whom, these fashion pullovers will leave no doubt about who's boss at Smarty Pants Disco.

340. "I wish I knew how to quit you"

 Breaking up is hard to do.  These two cowboys met at the Malamute Saloon over at the Bunkhouse at Loveless Motel and realized that wearing the same jacket is a fashion faux pas from which one can never recover and that matchy-matchy is beyond tacky; one of them would have to leave, or face the scorn of other guests. After discussing which one should pack his bags and skedaddle, at this writing the  ̶l̶e̶g̶s̶ ̶a̶r̶e̶  question is still up in the air.

336. It's all in the way it's wrapped at Packaged Goods!

If you get home and realize that you missed your opportunity to stock up on great underwear at Packaged Goods!, our men's undergarment shop located off the lobby, never fear. Just write to Loveless Motel and include a 10 cent stamp, and we'll send out our latest mail-order catalog.

330. New Loveless Venue- Mr. Dick Gee's Hair and Now

Loveless Motel is excited to announce a new addition to our services -  Hair and Now, our men's salon, is now open off the lobby, under the expert hands of Hollywood stylist, Mr. Dick Gee, recommended to our operation by his admirer and former associate, Mr. Billy Swallows of Suit Up. His talents, as witnessed above, show one of his client's recent trans-formations which took place right after Mr. Dick spotted him arriving for his first stay during check in, and made him an offer he couldn't refuse, on the spot.

Here's Mr. Dick Gee who models one of the au courant fabulous finds he's already discovered at Suit Up, and has found a fast friend in our own Mr. Billy Swallows, owner of that same establishment.

197. You get what you pay for...or what you deserve

We realize that not all our guests at Loveless Motel may need the fashion advise of our eager and expert staff at Suit Up, located off the lobby, and remind those budget-minded souls that there is a large gap between the right outfit and the wrong outfit. Walk Socks?

 

193. The well-clothed man, and the nearly naked man

Our activities coordinator Jack Leyendecker has recently returned from a scouting trip and has hired a helper for the summer season here at Loveless Motel.  Business meets casual. Jack gets all his outfits directly from Mssrs. Swallows and Dewitt at Suit Up, located off the lobby.

191. Sizing You Up

Head over to Suit Up at Loveless Motel, for the latest in casual wear and mens suits.  Seen here is our tailor, Mr. Billy Swallows, right, along with his assistant Mr. Dante' Dewitt, sizing up their client, seated, whose measurements will be taken for the perfect fit. You guessed it; they're located off the lobby.

184. Today's Lecture - What you wear is what you do

In anticipation of a busy weekend at Loveless Motel, realizing that there are some small town lads among us for the first time, we have scheduled a talk by Hal Fischer in the Grab-Basket Conference Room located off the lobby.  After all, you don't want to find yourself shoved over a picnic table in the woods and rammed from behind by big Vlad, the Impaler on your first visit to the Silver Bullet Bar because you wore a navy blue hankie in your right pocket 'cause that's what you wear in Hooterville. Especially if you had planned to be the one doing the ramming. Or maybe you'd be fine with that, but the point is, you should know.  

127. Suit Up - Loveless Venue

If versatile is your gig, Loveless Motel is the perfect spot for you.  Come see a full line of business menswear at Suit Up, located off the Lobby.  Jorge , our tailor can't wait to measure you.

42. Sunday Tea Dance - Pool Party

 Sunday's Tea Dance at Loveless Motel takes place in every nook and cranny around our place, including pool side...where dancing may take many forms...