516. Pragmatism

 

Since the closure of the Laundry Room guests have expressed concern that they have been taken to the cleaners on two counts.  The price of having laundry taken into town for dry-cleaning is exorbitant, and, they claim, the price of second hand clothing at Hard Tack General Store is being artificially jacked up to milk stranded vacationers out of money they would otherwise spend in the shops, bars and restaurants at Loveless Motel. 

In an effort to mitigate the situation, instead of being released from the Hoosegow into the custody of Hardtack Manager and Work Release coordinator Will U. Bonus, rule breakers will now do laundry duty in the abandoned early 20th century laundry building on the shores of Lake Loveless, where they will be supervised by interns, none of whom has been trained in the proper care of sequins, lame' or other disco apparel in general. This scheme was the brainchild of Uncle Joe, who has assured Nic the Senior Manager that guests will be asked to sign specific laundry-related waivers, and none of the interns will be used who were involved with the recent soft opening of Loveless Campground, except for being hung out to dry. 

 The entire enterprise will be short-lived anyway, as the fate of the Laundry Room and the 8 Ball Bar has been decided by the Love-Whistle Inc. Board of Directors. As of next week, crews will begin demolition of the wall separating the two spaces.  Combined, the new space will offer beer, billiards and a coin op laundry, and be rechristened "The Dirty Pool Bar"

466. Ride with Loveless - an excursion into town

Despite the groundhog saying otherwise, and his consequent fate as "Oxtail Soup" on the menu of Birdwhistle's Tearoom, the weather is nice enough this weekend to offer a Sunday excursion to interested men who might want to do some shopping and sightseeing in town.  Less than an hour away, you'll be transported from the bucolic charms of Loveless Motel and its surroundings to the very place you might have wanted to escape in the first place.  Based on past trips, we promise at the very least, some cheap entertainment.  Don't however, stay too long at the ball, as our bus will leave promptly from the drop-off location at precisely 8PM and a hotel room and cab ride back will cost you more than your weeklong stay with us.  We provide here a few pictures of our last Sunday excursion, including the bus driver, some townies, roadside attractions, a few of the fellows who attended, and the bus you wish you were on but won't be.  We recommend bringing along enough cash at a minimum for a late lunch and bail.

422. Jock and denim thief on the loose

Guests of the Bunkhouse have been lodging complaints for a few days now regarding stolen jock straps and jeans that have gone missing when using the communal showers there.  Cowboys over at The Stables can really work up a sweat what with showing city boys the ropes and all, and it's just a natural thing for a cowboy to want to lather up with his buds while hanging his duds in a place they ought to be secure.  The mystery is deepened and particularly concerning, as some of the cowboys have been working on ripening their jocks for months, and the prospect of going into town looking for new jockstraps doesn't thrill anyone except maybe the salesmen in the JCPenney or Sears men's clothing departments, though some of the cowboys don't complain too much if they get hold of a townie who wants to provide a personal fitting.

395. Juices- Health Nut bar opens in The Tubs

One of our staff members in a recent employee confab recently related how he drinks carrot juice because it sweetens his spunk. Several in the meeting said they could personally attest to this phenomenon, and the result is that The Tubs has added a new health bar called "Juices" - and carrots are definitely menu favorites. Located in the two-level basement of the Bunkhouse, The Tubs features a waterfall, maze, private and public fun rooms, and a mix of men from Townies to military men, truckers, and even staff members taking a break from their normal daily grind. grinding their juices as often as they can. Juices is on the lower level.

353. In town to buy some shoes and a new pair of pants

For such a small town, there are some reliable merchants who offer personal services. Getting measured for new pants always ends up taking more time than planned for, and getting more measured than just pants. Taylor from Dallas called to say he'd be returning to Loveless Motel in the morning - he's gotten in a little deeper with the tailor than he had planned.

352. Townies

Our Junior Manager, Taylor from Dallas, had to run into town for a few things for the office, and recognized several townies that have been seen at Loveless Motel recently, from business man types that stop into the Mauve Tavern, or gas station attendants and street food pretzel salesmen who pay 5 bucks to spend 12 hours at The Tubs at the Bunkhouse on a Saturday night/Sunday morning. 

320. Rough Trade at the 8 Ball Bar

 8 Ball Bar at Loveless Motel is nothing if not the obvious place to be obvious. Is he a townie who just wandered in, or is he a Loveless Motel Certified Hustler? Ask to see his card, or take a walk on the wild side. Your choice.

284. Townies are hanging around the parking lots

You've received this notice prior to your arrival in the interests of a safe stay at Loveless Motel.  Prearrival guests should be aware that we have seen an uptick in local men hanging around the parking lots at Loveless Motel, Aluminum City, and the Loveless Truck Stop, especially in the later evening, targeting late arrival guests. While we understand the undeniable allure of some of these men, please be advised that while you are having your balls sucked in your vehicle in the parking lot by an eager, plum-lipped stud, he may also be lifting your wallet out of the pants he just coaxed you out of.  At a minimum, we suggest you trick the bastards by stowing your wallet in your suitcase prior to arrival, and enjoy the experience, worry-free.

102. Bragging Rights

Seen here is the Loveless Motel track and field local Amateur League staff team of a few years ago with their trophies - one of the townies said it must have been for "combined length."  They're all still here in one capacity or another. See if you can find them in the dark. Townies can.