524. Military Balls and Tuba City

 

Nic the Senior Manager of Loveless Motel called a leadership meeting this week to talk about drumming up business in its entertainment category, since lately Footlight Fairies Cabaret has suffered poor attendance due to some issues remaining from the Cat Show debacle. It seems half the drag queens have allergies and the dander remaining especially from the long haired pussies has caused half the chorus and one headliner to be down for the count.  

Bobbie Frapples, the show's lead, bravely attempted to carry a show on her own recently, but reactively coughed up so much mucous during her first number that she ruined the sequin gown she was wearing; the stage had to be squeegeed, and then dusted with a non-slip agent (a canister of Comet ) for the show to continue, causing customers to complain that everything, including cocktails, tasted or smelled like bleach. 

Not to be deterred, Nic is determined to overcome the slump, and out of their conversations, leadership has come up with an event, and is pondering a Military Ball of sorts. Junior Manager Taylor from Dallas said it best, coughing, grinning and clutching his package, barely contained in his pleated khaki pants, rhetorically asking "Who doesn't like uniform balls?" A swelling contingent of lads from nearby Camp Betsy Ross is sure to be interested, Nic believes, and if timed well, the pageant could coincide with the annual gush of seamen shooting to arrive during Fleet Week. Nic has given the publicity team, under the direction of Callum Z Blabber, the green light to develop advertising for the event.

Also on the meeting agenda was an update on the status of the class of interns from Tuba City, Arizona - the group who, though certainly checking the box of "hot" by physical measures, turned out to be pretty lukewarm in by all others,  as evidenced by their lack of survival skills at Nutbush Campground.  Jack Leyendecker, the talent and intern recruiter shouldered the blame, but Nic made light of the situation and complimented him on his overall performance, citing fate and anomaly as the true culprits.  The decision had come down to terminating eight intern contracts, and placing them all into the hands of Will U. Bonus as conscriptees until their debt is paid, working off the expense of their training. Uncle Joe pointed out that because of their crazy conspiracy-laden ideas, it would be best to isolate them from guests and the rest of the staff, making sure they are all housed in one dorm at the bunkhouse, or in a trailer  (Nic raised his eyebrows at the Aluminum City suggestion, referencing further loss of revenue if they were to take out of inventory a money maker like a trailer). 

They then settled on a cabin at the campground, and KP duty at the chuck wagon there to keep them occupied.  The final solution for the clusterfuck of vapid young Arizona John Birchers will be to deliver them all sooner than later  for basic training to the Army Recruiter in town, who  along with half of the local draft board, happens to be a regular at the Tubs located in the Bunkhouse at Loveless Motel, and will be a key contact for drumming up interest at Camp Betsy Ross for the upcoming Military Ball.  

496. Loveless Motel can take a hint...

A group of men loitering around the Laundry Room, sucking cock and petting a pussy, have caused a serious accident with a guest who has come in to check on the status of his load. Continual warnings coupled with outright willful defiance of simple rules haven't done the job. The Board, at the suggestion of Nic the senior manager, has decided to close The Laundry Room, and redesign the 8 Ball Bar, prompting its closure as well. Guests will be given the option to have their laundry done by staff when we do our sheets, or have it collected and sent into town for dry cleaning, all at the expense of guests who my be entirely innocent and obey posted rules.  Watch this space for a permanent solution, despite the evidence presented by guests to our establishment that "this is why we just can't have nice things."  In the meantime, remember our motto:  "Safety begins with thee and me". The Hoosegow and the dispensary will be busy tonight.  We have sent an internal memo to all staff members, including Certified Hustlers, reinforcing our belief that pussies get you into all kinds of bad trouble, and we have notified a guest that his cat escaped the Cat Show debacle, though it is still at large, and was last seen running in the direction of the soon-to-open Nutbush Campground.

489. Alberich and Bob

Nic, the Senior Manager knew what was in the box all along.  It turns out this whole fiasco was an audition gone awry. This photo was included in an introductory letter he received from the two men after they had stayed incognito earlier in the year;  Nic had replied suggesting that the perfect opportunity to provide a sample of their act would be an unannounced appearance at the Cat Show, and now you know the rest of the story.  Loveless Motel has returned the entry fees of each of the contestants, along with a note to each reminding them of the waiver that needed to be signed, holding harmless the business, all of its employees, and any fellow contestants in the event of any damage or loss.  Alberich and Bob have a contract for future appearances at Footlight Fairies Cabaret which is suspended, pending further review by the board.  

Good luck, Alberich and Bob!

RIP Piddles

488. The Last Annual Loveless Motel Cat Show AKA What's in the box?

A couple days ago we told you about the First Annual Loveless Motel Cat Show. Scratch that. (so to speak). Make that First and Last. Here's what went down. A late entry was called in Friday night, and Nic allowed the two men, Alberich and Bob, to enter their cat. The men arrived with quite a bit of luggage and one very large crate, and due to its size, they were given a larger unit on Lover's Lane near the other entrants' lodgings, however all the recently tiled units were taken and so a carpeted unit had to do.

Yesterday morning, the day of the show, held in Footlight Fairies Cabaret, each of the owners set up his table with his cat on display, and Alberich and Bob wheeled in their sizeable crate. The table had to be removed due to its inadequacy, and the two men stood next to the big box while the auditorium filled with cat fanciers and curiosity seekers alike. There were oohs and ahs as the crowd began to circulate among the tables, hardly observing little easy-to-follow directional signs like "Do not insert your fucking fingers into the fucking cage". The temptation to feel fur is just a bit much for some people, and so there was a lot of touching and feeling going on of the cats, too. Foregoing the usual understated attire for such a show, Alberich in his rhinestone studded cape, and Bob with a whip, in his bulging skin-tight unitard, stood out among the others, but unfortunately the crate being guarded by the two men was solid wood, and there was nothing to be seen, so the crowd largely ignored them.

Damon and Pythias

Pyewacket

Piddles

Patty, Maxine and LaVerne

Butterball

Lucifer

Bobbi Frapples

At some point, the Emcee, one of the Cabaret's most glamorous drag queens, reportedly hung like a racehorse and a bossy top man, Bobbi Frapples, was heard over the sound system (deeply) directing the crowd to take their seats around the perimeter of the performance ring that had been set up, and each man began to walk, leash in hand, flaunting his pussy to the animated applause of those assembled to witness the show. The three judges held up placards with a score, and Piddles was a clear favorite to win.

Finally, Alberich and Bob were called to walk their entry in the ring. Pulling a ripcord on the crate, a huge circus cat leapt from the box and neither Bob nor Alberich were able to grab its leash as it headed for the available prey unprotected by their cages. The scene was horrific.

After containing the big cat, it became evident that the only thing to do was to call on Dr. John Long, who as it happened had already been called to the hall earlier when a contestant tripped over a litter box which he suspected had been placed there by a jealous rival.

An unfortunate injury was also sustained when the escaped big cat chased down one of the waiters who, as it happens, had met and served his stalker's handlers at Birdwhistle's Tearoom and after his shift had been himself invited "to see our Bavarian cowbell collection." In the midst of that little interlude, complete with a demonstration, he found himself serviced on both ends by Alberich and Bob in their accommodations on Lover's Lane the evening of their arrival. He even asked "What's in the box?"

But to no avail; the only answer that came was a series of grunts and a slew of dirty and delicious fuck words.

Now one-handed, he'll never ring anyone's bells again, let alone serve them dinner. And to top it off, his missing part happened to be on the dominant, right side! Working at Loveless Motel in any capacity comes with both great rewards and unspecified risks.

It was all Dr. John could do to attend to the wounded and mop up the cats, in hopes of finding a few that me might be able to use in a new display of anthropomorphic taxidermy.

The Last Cat Show at Loveless Motel

484. Upcoming - First Annual Loveless Motel Cat Show

 

Loveless Motel's First Annual Cat Show is fast approaching, and guests have sent in photos of themselves and their entries. "Snap" Wadmacher of Shutter Bug Camera Shop will be photographing the event with his best feline buddy, Litterace', the piano playing wonder cat, who also doubles as Snap's assistant, whenever a smile is required from a subject. "Snap" received the cat as a gift some time ago from a grateful guest Lee, for services rendered, who faithful readers may remember filled in for Paul at Ticklers Lounge after the waffle iron incident.  The exhibition will be held in the Footlight Fairies Cabaret venue, located off the lobby, which will be transformed into a small auditorium for the event.  Excitement is building as word gets around about the names of several high profile previous guests who have told us they can't wait to flaunt their pussies in front of an audience.

 

Guests entering the contest will be housed in a section of units in Aluminum City along Tin Can Alley, where several units have had carpet removed and tile laid down.  The park-like setting of the area is perfect for exercising your pussy, night or day.

A frequent guest, a well-known exhibitionist and practical joker has sent a photo of his "entry", but Nic the senior manager has called him, and good-naturedly thanked him for his effort, and to say that we recognize that his pussy has been photoshopped in -  nice try. Nic told him that he is "open" to another kind of "entry" and asked Psycho Randy to hold all his calls for 20 minutes.