546. Courtesy Car Dispatch - Loveless to Mile Marker 234

Would you pick this man up? A frequent guest has just called to the front desk at Loveless Motel from a pay phone at a rest stop at mile marker 234 on the state highway where he says he was approached by two men who held him up, took all but the coins in his pocket, and didn't steal his car but took his plates.  After  confirming the man had a reservation and recognizing his voice when he said "room 222", Psycho Randy asked him how it happened, he explained that his pants were down around his ankles and he had his knees under the partition of a stall in the men's room when an arm from the stall behind him reached in, took his wallet out of one pocket and his keys from another, and while his eyes were rolling back in his head from the quality of the blowjob he was receiving at the time, he didn't have the presence of mind to do anything about it except to yell FUCK YES!, after which he heard 3 people in other stalls applauding. "Not to worry sir, we'll send a courtesy van over to pick you up, and send a tow truck from the Motorpool. Room 222 is ready for you."  A frequent client of Snap Wadmacher, he's not camera shy.

538. Dirty Pool Crew Takes a Break

 

Dirty Pool construction crew best pals take a break.  The remodeling, headed by Project Manager Rock Blockhead, is nearing completion and promises to fulfill the needs of those who need to get a load done, and have a brew and shoot a friendly game of pool while they wait for their laundry cycles to complete. The Vagabond Bar over at Aluminum City is currently the happening place for all who want to rack a set of balls, since the demolition of the 8 Ball Bar and Laundry Room. 

534. The Butler takes a holiday

Nic, the Senior manager at Loveless Motel, in one of last month's Monday morning staff meetings, started out by asking his assembled department heads a question. "I saw this headline in the paper last week- 'What is the connection of McDonald's hamburger chain CEO Ray Kroc, to the 1958 film Auntie Mame?' " "Ugh, McDonald's" interrupted Biff Wellington, head chef of Birdwhistle's Tearoom, "One of the waiters told me he worked for them when he was in highschool.  Whenever they dropped a burger on the floor, they'd just rinse if off and put a bun on it, and sell it to the next customer." "But you digress, Biff.  Pipe down. We have a group coming in - any takers on the question? No?  Let me read you this article" and he proceeded to read from the townie gazette. "Wait, wait!  Did you see Forrest Tucker's basket in the movie?" pipes back pushy Biff, "I hear he even has a name for it - "The General" "

 Nic glared over the top of the paper at Biff and began to read: 

"Patrick Dennis was the nom de plume of the author of Auntie Mame: An Irreverent Escapade (1955), which in 1958 was made into the film Auntie Mame, starring Rosalind Russell.

 Edward Everett Tanner III  is the real name of the author who, after a successful career as a novelist, left writing and became a butler. One of his employers was McDonald's CEO Ray Kroc, who never knew that his butler "Tanner" was the acclaimed author.  After having mastered buttling, he left Kroc's employ and has opened the Mame Dennis Academy of Butlery, and has graduated a total of 56 men over 5 years in that endeavor."

"The courses feature heavy instruction on manservantry, which includes becoming an expert on modern technological developments, and how to use such devices as they come to market. Here, an instructor points out the vertical hold knob on a modern television set.

Conducting field training, an instructor demonstrates to a student the use of gas masks, in the event of a national emergency; students are trained to serve the master of the house first, then the estate heir, and then the women and children.  Staff, of course, should always carry a handkerchief in the event of such an emergency, but it should never be visible, which would be a severe breech of decorum.

The course also features a lecture on stress management, asserting that even on the best of days, men in service can have moments of frustration with a particularly demanding employer, and feel overwhelmed.  This may lead to adopting an unhealthy attitude toward the profession and ultimately manifesting itself as stubbornness and a perceived lack of cooperation. 

At its worst, this can even lead to the adoption by staff of unprofessional mannerisms both in personal affectations and in attire, putting on airs in a misguided attempt to mimic the habits and style of one's employer.

Therefore, the school teaches that it's always best to take advantage of personal time, to get away with friends who may also be in service, in order to find harmony and a refreshed attitude for the return to work.

Upon successful completion of the course of study, students graduate with a certificate awarded, signifying they are now qualified tradesmen in the field of Professional Butlery

"Son of a gun", Biff says, "but what has that got to do with us.?" 

"We've received a booking for several men" Nic said "who gave as their occupations butlers, who say they are coming to us to celebrate their graduation from MDAB.  Just a heads up.  Not a whole lot special needs to be done, but I've always looked at that profession as a bit related to the hospitality industry, so wherever you can, make considerations.  It could be good business."

And so it was, and they have come and gone, having booked into Rooms 222 and 221, but not without leaving a record behind of their celebratory visit.  Like many, they asked Snap Wadmacher to take a few candid shots.

Butler for hire - this way for service.

One last visit to The Tubs at the Bunkhouse, before heading home and finding permanent employment! Upon seeing the photos, now on sale at After Midnight Arcade, located off the lobby, Biff quipped, "More like professional buggery..."

On location with Snap Wadmacher, head photographer at 

Shutter Bug Camera Shop, located off the lobby

522. Rock Blockhead's Construction crew demolishes Laundry Room wall

 

Rock Blockhead, Construction Projects Manager of Loveless Motel, after his successful leadership of the buildout of Nutbush Campground, takes a last opportunity to conduct the pre-demolition meeting of the wall between the 8 Ball Bar and the Laundry Room, to prepare the combined space of the Dirty Pool Bar, which will include the pool table, bar and laundry machines. Rock says he spent many happy evenings shooting on this very table. Known for his casual style, his crews are eager work under him once again.

"You'll have to remove all this shelving in the laundry room as well," Rock instructs the crew, pointing to the floor, "and rip up this old tile afterwards.  But be careful that you don't damage any of the laundry machines.  We'll be moving those to storage over at the Motor Pool until we build out the new space, so we can knock out this wall"

Rock works just as hard as any man on the crew - he likes to set a good example. A day's hard work has its rewards - the crew likes to yank his chain, and they frequently pull practical jokes on him, but he's a pretty good sport, as long as the work gets done on time. He's known for loyalty to his crew, and he's no stranger to an occasional pull and yank with a favorite after the shift. He says there's plenty of him to go around, and everybody eventually gets time with the boss. He likes to be efficient, so no hardhat is ever surprised when the boss starts blurting a crewman's annual review at the same time he's getting his hole spackled with Rock's big trowel.

521. Making memories at Nutbush Campground

Opening weekend seems to have gone off without a hitch at Nutbush Campground at Loveless Motel.  Many campers took the time to explore the trails, and Snap Wadmacher of Shutter Bug Camera Shop tagged along and got some great shots of our nature lovers' activities.  Paying customers can expect to have their photos arrive in plain brown mailers soon, (with a return address of "Fishing Camp") to the addresses provided to the check-in desk upon registration.  This, of course, may present a challenge for a few men, who upon receiving the news that their picture packs may fall into the hands of mothers or wives, can rest assured that if they choose instead to cancel their orders that their pictures will be sold in our shops to paying customers in order to recoup the cost of goods and Snap's time, and be part of the annual Big Book of Deadbeats sold during the holiday season here in the shops at Loveless Motel and by mail order via advertisements found in smutty magazines in arcades and adult book shops across the land.