547. Javelin tossing - hitting an unexpected bone...

The Story of Nic - Part One

Randomly tossing javelins around at Nutbush Campground has recently become a thing - groups of men are showing up, and once they are settled into their campsites, are tippytoeing off to what ever meadow or field they can find to start pitching sticks at all kinds of things, in the absence of actual dick-swinging competitions.  They've landed in some pretty unlikely places, the most unlikely being a freshly excavated poop pit that has yet to have an outhouse erected on top of it. On approaching the pit, it was discovered that a javelin had actually pierced what appears to be a bone fragment.  Nearly empty of the water that had accumulated in the pit from last week's rain, the shifting dirt in the still muddy hole has revealed other pieces of bone jutting up from the settling soil.  While some of the men stuck their poles deeper into the hole to satisfy their curiosity, more level heads prevailed and they agreed to report their find. 

Bang Bengtsson, Loveless Motel's chief maintenance man,  out and about doing some infrastructure checks just happened by as the men were  discussing what needed to be done. He was able to hold their attention as he vividly described the process of notifying management, and the importance of following procedure right down to the last possible inch, while making sure no important details were left untouched, ensuring that the most important aspects of the situation were sufficiently uncovered while making it hard to dismiss anything obvious, keeping  the whole thing easy to swallow when the time came, holding back to the last possible moment. The group took the hint, followed his advice, and made sure everything was taken care of, exhausting every angle before contacting management.

Nic, the senior manager, impressed by the meticulous details the men had provided in the description of their activities thanks to Bang, has asked Harry Biggerstaff, the hotel dick, to look into the matter.  In their phone conversations about how to go about discerning what's going on, Nic, interrupting Harry's morning routine in a call before office hours, suggested the Dick ask some questions of the man who first reported the incident. "How big is the hole?  Would it be a tight fit to get into?  Does it need to be cleaned out before re-entering it?  Would one man working at the hole be able to bring about a desired result, or should a gang of men be sent to work on the hole?"  "I think I have the picture," Harry says to Nic, while trying not to roll his eyes at Nic's condescending advice. "I'll get right on the hole" Harry tells Nic, as he slides into his Tuesday morning intern guest.

To be continued....

467. Skilled Laborers Needed for Nutbush Campground Completion

As Nutbush Campground nears final completion and its opening date, Loveless Motel management still needs a steady stream of men with special skills of all kinds. Apply in person for a speedy interview - limber, fit and versatile candidates go to the top of the labor pool list. Generous compensation and benefits included. Speak to Psycho Randy at the front desk. In particular, those with knowledge of hot mopping, flashing, tongue in groove and full penetration butt welds are eagerly sought.

453. William Urquhart Bonus - 1st Laird of Loveless

 

Will, the  recently hired manager of Hard Tack General Store and mentor of the work-release program at Loveless Motel was asked by one of his recent charges what the U stood for.  He recounted a lengthy story to the intrigued questioner regarding his maternal ancestors who trace their roots back to Urquhart Castle on Loch Ness in Scotland, explaining that those who claim great familiarity with the men of the line can attest to what is really meant by the "Loch Ness Monster". Will chortled while his startled inquisitor's gaze moved involuntarily downward.

  

Will U. Bonus (after William the Rough, a 13th century occupant of the castle) claims he has a collection of kilts that he'll probably start wearing in the shop once the summer humidity starts to take hold. On his days off in town, or for his visits to the Hit and Split, or when walking through the lobby he'll need to wear something; otherwise his free time will most likely be spent blending in with guests in and around the Bunkhouse and The Tubs, since fewer clothing is required and fraternization is encouraged by the management.  He's a nudist a heart and wears the bare minimum when he must, and nothing at all whenever the surroundings or temperature cooperate. 

As men with personal monsters are apt to tell you, his has a pet name - "The Laird of Loveless", bestowed upon him by his new associates. And when in his cups, he's known to speak in a deep and affected low brogue whenever it's called to meet the moment. With his head tossed back and sweat on his brow, every mentee under his considerable spell has heard him say, "Ah, that's it, right there, Jamie my Boy with the wee tight hole. The Laird is comin' in. Right there."

446. Sometimes interns don't work out...

Despite the best efforts of our Intern Onboarding classes and instructors, sometimes a candidate just doesn't work out. Experience tells us that we really have to watch it when tapping blondes for our programming.  A prime example is seen here; a classic difference between the literal and the figurative.  Never tell a blonde already struggling with basic concepts to "get a move on" - that structure is going nowhere. Luckily, we have a successful offboarding process in which a man can work off the time and money we have spent on him, and he'll have a choice of joining the housekeeping staff until his debt is paid, or becoming a Certified Hustler (pending the outcome of a rigorous interview process), in which case his debt may be forgiven, or reduced.

395. Juices- Health Nut bar opens in The Tubs

One of our staff members in a recent employee confab recently related how he drinks carrot juice because it sweetens his spunk. Several in the meeting said they could personally attest to this phenomenon, and the result is that The Tubs has added a new health bar called "Juices" - and carrots are definitely menu favorites. Located in the two-level basement of the Bunkhouse, The Tubs features a waterfall, maze, private and public fun rooms, and a mix of men from Townies to military men, truckers, and even staff members taking a break from their normal daily grind. grinding their juices as often as they can. Juices is on the lower level.

367. Reminder - Christmas Tree going up in the lobby tonight!

 

Guests at Loveless Motel are invited annually to decorate their room doors and may purchase various holiday decor, including popular Christmas trees and decorative balls at Hit and Split, our convenience store located off the lobby.  Too busy to decorate it yourself?  Hire one of our staff members to attend to your specific requests.

357. Express yourself at Shutter Bug Camera Shop

Shutter Bug Camera Shop, located off the lobby at Loveless Motel, is the perfect place to bring your creative ideas to fruition. Book a photo suite and private photographer today! It's our pleasure to assist and offer suggestions for a successful shoot. Sometimes creativity is nothing more than recognizing the low hanging fruit of ideas and capitalizing on them. Our private photographers are experts in recognizing and handling every opportunity that might present itself.

 

333. Art Show in the Lobby of Loveless Motel

Our recent art show opening in the corridors off the lobby at Loveless Motel garnered mostly favorable reviews from VIP and nobody attendees alike. Everybody's a critic. "I don't know much about art, but I know what I like" said the framed subject. Mucho attitude was present all evening - BITCH!

329. The well-packed guest

Forget to pack an item that's de rigueur at Loveless Motel? Not to worry - Packaged Goods!, located off the lobby, has the matter in hand for all your intimate wardrobe needs. Stop in for a helpful fitting today.

315. Out in the bushes around the Silver Bullet Bar

 Daytime cruising in the area around the Silver Bullet Bar attracts a lot of cowboys, and often some of the hired hands who wander over on their lunch break from The Stables at Loveless Motel.  Wanna be the man in the middle?

310. Aluminum City Vagabond Bar Billiards Trifecta

Aluminum City at Loveless Motel has a wide range of entertainment options, including The Vagabond, it's own pub with a pool table. This Certified Hustler provides an excellent example of a man's trifecta, offering up his personal inventory of cue, balls and pocket. Gentlemen, place your quarters on the siderail. The line starts to the right. Book your home away from home today!

309. Aluminum City Twosome Trifecta

These two lads are practicing moves while waiting for someone to play leap frog in the little love-nest they've rented at Aluminum City at Loveless Motel.  They look so good from the back, we don't even need to turn them around. Book your tin can today!

285. Those Crazy Guys!

 If tight, fresh and low hangers are your thing, feast your eyes.  Summer is time for our Tanline and Tush contest at the lake at Loveless Motel.  The winner gets a lickin'.

249. Abandoned buildings down by the lake

 Some men have found out a secret about the lake -   just around the bend from the beach there's an old abandoned commercial area - locals know it well.  Loveless Motel is just full of surprises.

248. The stars are out on the lake

Loveless Motel is well known for the clientele it attracts.  You never know who you'll see on the beach at the lake.

 

202. Waiting for a passerby

 Our guest asked us if it was worth taking a walk in the woods surrounding Loveless Motel.  We told him that he wouldn't have to wait long, and advised him to take a pair of sandals.  We expect when he comes back he'll have tales to tell.

188. Rent a horse, Ride a cowboy

The barn over at the Stables is the place to rent a horse, or ride a cowboy.  Loveless Motel has something for everyone!

 

144. Has your cowboy got a fever?

 The best way to check to see just how hot your cowboy is at Loveless Motel, is a never fail system using a rectal thermometer (of  sorts). Time to put him to bed and give him lots of fluids.

115. Ah, Nature!

 Mornings are a great time to get out and explore some of the trails around Loveless Motel.  You'll have the whole place nearly to yourself, and be able to commune with other early-rising nature lovers

103. A Game of Horsey

 Sand Jousting (or Horsey) at Loveless is an impromptu sport, generally conducted on grass or sand, and typically after a few beers have been consumed.  The winning team, determined by which man/horse can keep his rider on the longest, has certain prizes it can claim, the benefits of which we leave to your imagination.  Here's a hint.