489. Alberich and Bob

Nic, the Senior Manager knew what was in the box all along.  It turns out this whole fiasco was an audition gone awry. This photo was included in an introductory letter he received from the two men after they had stayed incognito earlier in the year;  Nic had replied suggesting that the perfect opportunity to provide a sample of their act would be an unannounced appearance at the Cat Show, and now you know the rest of the story.  Loveless Motel has returned the entry fees of each of the contestants, along with a note to each reminding them of the waiver that needed to be signed, holding harmless the business, all of its employees, and any fellow contestants in the event of any damage or loss.  Alberich and Bob have a contract for future appearances at Footlight Fairies Cabaret which is suspended, pending further review by the board.  

Good luck, Alberich and Bob!

RIP Piddles

488. The Last Annual Loveless Motel Cat Show AKA What's in the box?

A couple days ago we told you about the First Annual Loveless Motel Cat Show. Scratch that. (so to speak). Make that First and Last. Here's what went down. A late entry was called in Friday night, and Nic allowed the two men, Alberich and Bob, to enter their cat. The men arrived with quite a bit of luggage and one very large crate, and due to its size, they were given a larger unit on Lover's Lane near the other entrants' lodgings, however all the recently tiled units were taken and so a carpeted unit had to do.

Yesterday morning, the day of the show, held in Footlight Fairies Cabaret, each of the owners set up his table with his cat on display, and Alberich and Bob wheeled in their sizeable crate. The table had to be removed due to its inadequacy, and the two men stood next to the big box while the auditorium filled with cat fanciers and curiosity seekers alike. There were oohs and ahs as the crowd began to circulate among the tables, hardly observing little easy-to-follow directional signs like "Do not insert your fucking fingers into the fucking cage". The temptation to feel fur is just a bit much for some people, and so there was a lot of touching and feeling going on of the cats, too. Foregoing the usual understated attire for such a show, Alberich in his rhinestone studded cape, and Bob with a whip, in his bulging skin-tight unitard, stood out among the others, but unfortunately the crate being guarded by the two men was solid wood, and there was nothing to be seen, so the crowd largely ignored them.

Damon and Pythias

Pyewacket

Piddles

Patty, Maxine and LaVerne

Butterball

Lucifer

Bobbi Frapples

At some point, the Emcee, one of the Cabaret's most glamorous drag queens, reportedly hung like a racehorse and a bossy top man, Bobbi Frapples, was heard over the sound system (deeply) directing the crowd to take their seats around the perimeter of the performance ring that had been set up, and each man began to walk, leash in hand, flaunting his pussy to the animated applause of those assembled to witness the show. The three judges held up placards with a score, and Piddles was a clear favorite to win.

Finally, Alberich and Bob were called to walk their entry in the ring. Pulling a ripcord on the crate, a huge circus cat leapt from the box and neither Bob nor Alberich were able to grab its leash as it headed for the available prey unprotected by their cages. The scene was horrific.

After containing the big cat, it became evident that the only thing to do was to call on Dr. John Long, who as it happened had already been called to the hall earlier when a contestant tripped over a litter box which he suspected had been placed there by a jealous rival.

An unfortunate injury was also sustained when the escaped big cat chased down one of the waiters who, as it happens, had met and served his stalker's handlers at Birdwhistle's Tearoom and after his shift had been himself invited "to see our Bavarian cowbell collection." In the midst of that little interlude, complete with a demonstration, he found himself serviced on both ends by Alberich and Bob in their accommodations on Lover's Lane the evening of their arrival. He even asked "What's in the box?"

But to no avail; the only answer that came was a series of grunts and a slew of dirty and delicious fuck words.

Now one-handed, he'll never ring anyone's bells again, let alone serve them dinner. And to top it off, his missing part happened to be on the dominant, right side! Working at Loveless Motel in any capacity comes with both great rewards and unspecified risks.

It was all Dr. John could do to attend to the wounded and mop up the cats, in hopes of finding a few that me might be able to use in a new display of anthropomorphic taxidermy.

The Last Cat Show at Loveless Motel

466. Ride with Loveless - an excursion into town

Despite the groundhog saying otherwise, and his consequent fate as "Oxtail Soup" on the menu of Birdwhistle's Tearoom, the weather is nice enough this weekend to offer a Sunday excursion to interested men who might want to do some shopping and sightseeing in town.  Less than an hour away, you'll be transported from the bucolic charms of Loveless Motel and its surroundings to the very place you might have wanted to escape in the first place.  Based on past trips, we promise at the very least, some cheap entertainment.  Don't however, stay too long at the ball, as our bus will leave promptly from the drop-off location at precisely 8PM and a hotel room and cab ride back will cost you more than your weeklong stay with us.  We provide here a few pictures of our last Sunday excursion, including the bus driver, some townies, roadside attractions, a few of the fellows who attended, and the bus you wish you were on but won't be.  We recommend bringing along enough cash at a minimum for a late lunch and bail.

459.Is there a doctor in the house?

 

Loveless Motel Dispensary has moved from its small quarters next to the Laundry Room (a locked closet with a first aid kit,  a few over the counter remedies such as Ex-lax, Kao pectate and castor oil, a stretcher and a straight jacket, with a clipboard hanging on a string, meant as a sign-out sheet), and is now located at 420 Tin Can Alley in Aluminum City, in a dedicated and distinctive unit, seen here, just arriving after having been purchased at an estate auction in town. The previous owner no longer has a need for the unit, as he was sued for medical malpractice after accidentally (barely) sedating a man who came in complaining of a bad hangnail and amputating his whole hand, and was found liable. But that's neither here nor there. Neither is the hand.

More importantly, the facility will be open 24 hours a day every day, under the capable direction of Dr. John Long (of "Your Penis and You" lecture series fame) His small team of medical helpers has been trained personally by himself, with recent emphasis on the extraction of lost gerbils. This new medical endeavor aligns with the Loveless philosophy of getting our hands dirty in every possible way on behalf of our guests; put another way, we aim to be all things to all lodgers. In the event that any of our guests need the services of someone purporting to be a medical professional, no appointment is needed, and fees are minimal, though tips are accepted, and barter is always up for discussion. You may walk in at any hour, and rest assured that protocols are nearly in place in the event an amputation is not required. Dr. John also informs us he is an adept anthropomorphic taxidermy hobbyist, but we'll save that story for another time.