511. "Sush" Yuniyoshi has a request...

 

Sush Yuniyoshi, author of the coffee table book sensation, "Brrrr...How Cold is this Blood, Already?", called up Nic the Senior Manager a while back with a request. Fresh off his success after a round of television appearances and fish parties, his cousin, an aspiring writer, had  been suffering from writer's block and just needed to get away for a bit, so joined a traveling female impersonator review as the "boy" master of ceremonies.  

500. Like a Pendulum Do...with Marmite!

Shown in this photo at home last year in London, sporting his Mr. Popular Trophy and dressing to the left in his Suit Up! pinstripe number, personally fitted by our very own Mr. Billy Swallows of Suit Up! (located off the lobby at Loveless Motel) are "Dickey Loosedore" and his best mate "Bailey Alanski", the names under which they have checked into rooms 222 and adjoining 221, respectively.  Each likes his space - one needs to be prepared for any opportunity to personally welcome any Anglophiles with a craving for fur and the spectacularly uncut.

Given notice, the kitchen staff always stocks up on Marmite for the week for the couple, and places a picture of the Queen on the wall of the little alcove in Birdwhistle's Tearoom favored by our guests and held for them for the duration of the stay.

Suit Up! has remained our guests' little secret source since Mr. Billy's pre-Loveless Hollywood days, when he was in charge of costuming at a major studio and worked with Mr. Alanski on a number of his roles. Since Billy's relocation to our little "wood", London's Carnaby Street has nothing on Loveless Motel, which swings to the left this week, "like a pendulum do." In Tinsel Town, Billy was famed for his little parties, where select gentlemen were invited to stay overnight; Bailey always reckoned that Billy was a favorite American host, and maintained that he was a master at getting men to shed their inhibitions with the suggestion of a little Greek wrestling;  Bailey had been introduced to such exhibitions on more than one occasion. In fact as it turns out, his ability to toss and be tossed around was one factor that bound he and Dickey together for as long as the two tossers could remember.

Welcome back, Dickey and Bailey!

"England swings like a pendulum do..."

396. Tickler's Lounge Entertainer Mishap and Resolution

In an odd twist of fate, Paul, the blind piano player who plays nearly every night at Tickler's Lounge, the piano bar located off the lobby at Loveless Motel, has been sidelined for a week. A certified hustler with a questionable sense of humor who was visiting his room told heavily inebriated Paul that a waffle iron was in fact a hand warmer, and consequently our musician has square burn marks on the palm and several fingers of his right hand.  

As luck would have it, Paul's pal Lee has just begun a two week vacation in 3 bedroom luxury trailer at Aluminum City, and has offered to step in for a few days while Paul recuperates. Some may recognize Lee, who has a reputation among a lucky few for having beefy thighs that could crack walnuts,  but we ask patrons to respect the privacy of our guests who are generally here incognito to experience some of the resort's more earthly delights

307. Newspaper man interviews Hoosegow inmates in old crud

 A nationally known newspaper man, checking into Loveless Motel as Sushi Yunioshi, is spending his vacation "interviewing" recent inhabitants of the Hoosegow for an upcoming literary project he's working on. We asked Mr. Yunioshi ("Just call me Sush" he said to the clerk, putting his index finger to his pursed lips) if he preferred to have inmates sent to his room one at a time, or in small groups, and he opted for groups, stating he wanted to make sure there were witnesses, but "don't bother cleaning them up" He was particularly interested to know if we had any who might have recently been in Kansas.

306. Celebrity Guests at Loveless Motel

Loveless Motel is the favorite vacation spot of several high profile Hollywood Types who often arrive incognito, often checking in under pseudonyms. Mr. Biff McTosser is a recent example. Shown here, he executes the secret wave known to only some of those at Loveless Motel, which translated means, "Hi there - don't I know you from the Mauve Tavern?" Psycho Randy is beside himself...nearly passed out when Biff checked in.

305. Recent guest arrested after vacationing at Loveless Motel

A recent celebrity guest of the hotel has been arrested after returning home. Popular guest had a private suite at Loveless Motel, but spent most of his time at the Bunkhouse wandering the public spaces, including The Tubs in the basement, and the latrines, as well as the Silver Bullet Bar and the adjacent woods. None of his activities landed him in the Hoosegow here, however.

26. Mr. John Holmes gets Lei'd

 Loveless Motel can confirm that famous porn star Mr. John Holmes will be staying in room 222 next weekend.  He's asked us to let you know. So we are.