549. Callum Z. Blabber finally (and reluctantly) comes up for air

After what has seemed like a second or two, Loveless Motel's communications and publicity maven, Callum Z. Blabber, has come out of a coma. Early in the summer, he had taken a dive head-first off the platform at Lake Loveless, like he had done dozens of times before, and hit his head on an object that was unexpectedly there. Subsequently, a recovery team went down and found the recently missing and obviously scuttled SS Flow, the houseboat built by the clever lesbians at Yodeling Canyon Campground.

Witnesses were able to immediately contact the dispensary on the property, which quickly called an ambulance from town. Callum spent the entire summer comatose, awakened only when a German specialist was called in to try a novel technique involving a bubble wand and pneumatic pressure to the most unexpected place. Successful and likened to raising Atlantis from the sea, Callum perked right up,  finally entering a recuperative stage that has lasted through the fall up until this point. Welcome back, Callum!

Callum has certainly seen better days - an expert water sportsman, his svelte form was often seen emerging from the lake, glistening in the sun, water droplets sparkling like jewels dangling from his hirsute chest. Admirers frequently were seen chatting him up on the beach, asking if they could hold is harpoon, hoping for a photo op. Callum was famous for carrying a spear fishing gun, and equally well known for never catching a thing -  he was blind as a bat underwater but reaped great benefits and caught more interesting prey out of it.

General Manager Nic says it will be great to see Callum gracing the beach and pool when the weather finally warms up, but in the meantime he is welcome to use the facilities on the house at The Tubs, located in the basement of The Bunkhouse. A little steamy adventure will do him good.

534. The Butler takes a holiday

Nic, the Senior manager at Loveless Motel, in one of last month's Monday morning staff meetings, started out by asking his assembled department heads a question. "I saw this headline in the paper last week- 'What is the connection of McDonald's hamburger chain CEO Ray Kroc, to the 1958 film Auntie Mame?' " "Ugh, McDonald's" interrupted Biff Wellington, head chef of Birdwhistle's Tearoom, "One of the waiters told me he worked for them when he was in highschool.  Whenever they dropped a burger on the floor, they'd just rinse if off and put a bun on it, and sell it to the next customer." "But you digress, Biff.  Pipe down. We have a group coming in - any takers on the question? No?  Let me read you this article" and he proceeded to read from the townie gazette. "Wait, wait!  Did you see Forrest Tucker's basket in the movie?" pipes back pushy Biff, "I hear he even has a name for it - "The General" "

 Nic glared over the top of the paper at Biff and began to read: 

"Patrick Dennis was the nom de plume of the author of Auntie Mame: An Irreverent Escapade (1955), which in 1958 was made into the film Auntie Mame, starring Rosalind Russell.

 Edward Everett Tanner III  is the real name of the author who, after a successful career as a novelist, left writing and became a butler. One of his employers was McDonald's CEO Ray Kroc, who never knew that his butler "Tanner" was the acclaimed author.  After having mastered buttling, he left Kroc's employ and has opened the Mame Dennis Academy of Butlery, and has graduated a total of 56 men over 5 years in that endeavor."

"The courses feature heavy instruction on manservantry, which includes becoming an expert on modern technological developments, and how to use such devices as they come to market. Here, an instructor points out the vertical hold knob on a modern television set.

Conducting field training, an instructor demonstrates to a student the use of gas masks, in the event of a national emergency; students are trained to serve the master of the house first, then the estate heir, and then the women and children.  Staff, of course, should always carry a handkerchief in the event of such an emergency, but it should never be visible, which would be a severe breech of decorum.

The course also features a lecture on stress management, asserting that even on the best of days, men in service can have moments of frustration with a particularly demanding employer, and feel overwhelmed.  This may lead to adopting an unhealthy attitude toward the profession and ultimately manifesting itself as stubbornness and a perceived lack of cooperation. 

At its worst, this can even lead to the adoption by staff of unprofessional mannerisms both in personal affectations and in attire, putting on airs in a misguided attempt to mimic the habits and style of one's employer.

Therefore, the school teaches that it's always best to take advantage of personal time, to get away with friends who may also be in service, in order to find harmony and a refreshed attitude for the return to work.

Upon successful completion of the course of study, students graduate with a certificate awarded, signifying they are now qualified tradesmen in the field of Professional Butlery

"Son of a gun", Biff says, "but what has that got to do with us.?" 

"We've received a booking for several men" Nic said "who gave as their occupations butlers, who say they are coming to us to celebrate their graduation from MDAB.  Just a heads up.  Not a whole lot special needs to be done, but I've always looked at that profession as a bit related to the hospitality industry, so wherever you can, make considerations.  It could be good business."

And so it was, and they have come and gone, having booked into Rooms 222 and 221, but not without leaving a record behind of their celebratory visit.  Like many, they asked Snap Wadmacher to take a few candid shots.

Butler for hire - this way for service.

One last visit to The Tubs at the Bunkhouse, before heading home and finding permanent employment! Upon seeing the photos, now on sale at After Midnight Arcade, located off the lobby, Biff quipped, "More like professional buggery..."

On location with Snap Wadmacher, head photographer at 

Shutter Bug Camera Shop, located off the lobby

529. The Bunkhouse - overcoming a hostel environment

Planning a vacation can be a stressful enterprise, especially from the money angle. You've heard about Loveless Motel, and you can't wait to get here, but the prices of rooms, approaching an astronomical 25 bucks a night seems out of reach. And the whole point of a vacation is to mingle, to hang out, to be with other guys, so a camping option when you are alone, especially when you're not in an introspective mood makes pitching a tent on an ant hill seem pretty fucking depressing. What's a man to do?

Come to The Bunkhouse! At 12 bucks a night, our economical hostel gets you the camaraderie you crave, with a smorgasbord of men, from cowboys to college types and everything in or out of a uniform, all on full view in the communal showers, locker rooms, dorms, and latrines. For a few extra bucks, wander downstairs to The Tubs, a two story stellar cellar full of amusing diversions. The  Pub and Grub in the Bunkhouse lobby has a taco buffet  on Tuesday, and budget eats all the time. Steps away, the Malamute Saloon has the cheapest beer on property. Even if that guy you've been stalking all night long in the saloon isn't showing an interest, you can always track him down when he needs to take a piss, and he'll never know who was on the other side of the partition. Every stall has a hole. You never need to leave the building to have a great time. Call the booking office today!

471. Dear Diary: Caught!

In a stunning development overnight, House Detective Harry Biggerstaff writes in his private journal that he has apprehended the jockstrap thief who has been plaguing The Bunkhouse for the past month,  He recounts that he had decided to award himself some personal R and R at the Tubs on what he thought would be a slow night, which since assuming his position as Loveless Motel's hotel dick has been one of the perks he most enjoyed.  Most of all, the ritual of slowly removing his clothes for any onlookers in the locker room, stowing his duds neatly away and producing from his old ditty bag, the container he was never without on a night he knew he would not be home, a toothbrush and his old worn jockstrap into which he changed, barely containing its contents;  to walk around in it was a performance he relished, knowing it was like bait to anyone present, particularly to those shy voyeurs he could later approach. "I see you enjoyed watching me in the locker room" was an opening that took most men by surprise, but paid off in results just the same. 

 And so this quiet evening was no exception.  Though in the dark he couldn't quite see his stalker's features, he sensed someone was watching, and proceeded with his show.  His next step as always was to walk through the hallway of private enclosures to see if any doors were open, to view any men pleasuring themselves or others, and in the absence of any obvious opportunities, head back to the locker area, slowly remove his jock, place it on a hook, stretching as he did so, for the added enjoyment of anyone watching, with his arms above his head and back arched so that his still-flaccid cock dangled momentarily before it began to come to life, and then he would turn to step into the nearby shower. This night, in the quiet semi-dark he could hear the squeak of another man's bare feet behind him as the hot water cascaded down his chest, his back to the hook on the wall, the water finding its way down his ass to the floor, making a splat sound as he soaped up. 

He's then startled as there's a deep intake of another man's breath with a snort sound, and whipping round, nearly loosing his balance on the wet tile, he sees a naked man with a jockstrap over his head, holding the crotch cup fabric to his nose with one hand , stroking his fist-wrapped meat with his other, while exhibiting the wide open eyes of one who's been caught red-handed.

"It's YOU!" Blurting and dumbfounded, Harry stands there soaked and dripping as the man grins back, begins to chuckle out loud, and between chortles and guffaws, Dr. John Long manages to gush out "I confess!"  To which Harry then says, barely containing his own upwelling laughter "I see you enjoyed watching me in the locker room!"

TO BE CONTINUED....