536. Mr. Billy Swallows Action Zones and Snack Sacks

Mr. Billy Swallows and his assistant Dante' DeWitt have just received a shipment of comfortable "action" slacks in versatile 100% Dacron, which Billy says are "100% divine", at remarkable prices!  Their atelier, Suit Up, located off the lobby at Loveless Motel, is well stocked and ready for you to come in for a personal fitting. Tape measure in hand, Dante' is always eager to know whether you dress to the right or left, and personally supervises alterations while you wait, time permitting.  Stop by and get altered today!

Billy and Dante' during a lull in business

Dante' DeWitt, standing: "What possibly motivated you to buy two dozen pairs of synthetic stretchy slacks?"

Mr. Billy Swallows, seated: "The salesman was all over me and demonstrated his 'action zone', and made me write a check on the spot.  Don't worry - it'll bounce, and they'll sell out before we have to worry about it, with this cheap bunch that's been in here lately.  Buying absolute bottom of the range, so give 'em what they want!"

Dante': "Billy Swallows, you are SO bad...what are you reading?"

Billy: "Sports Illustrated, and I'm not reading, just looking at the pictures - love the  jockstrap ads; but Sports? - eeeewwww."

Dante':  "Oh, I know - I got kicked out of gym class for taking too many showers."

Billy: "What are you doing, Dante'?"

Dante': "Looking at this fucking chipped nail...it keeps getting snagged in my sweater - time to go see Dick Gee at Hair and Now, located off the Lobby.  They have a dishy new manicurist. Dick said he does  a good toe job."

Billy: "Dick got that report from me. Where did you get that wedding ring?"

Dante': "I was in town and had to go to the tinkleorium so I went up to the 3rd floor of Macy's, and well you know got hung up giving a blowjob under the stall, and while I was on my back looking up at Mr. Right Now, working his snack sack one ball at a time, he came, while he was jacking his cock, and he spooged on his hand and the ring slipped off his finger, and by the time I realized it had happened he had cum and gone, and there it was on the floor.  I didn't get his name.  Finders keepers, Billy"

Billy: "Nice souvenir - better take it off before someone freaks out."

Dante': "Jealous!  I've already been propositioned three times today because of it. I just lower my voice and speak in one-syllable-word sentences while I readjust with my ring hand."

497. Laundry Room Closure Fallout

The closure of the Laundry Room is having some unintended ripple effects.   Because most men wouldn't be caught dead wearing the same outfit twice on vacation, (not to mention the fact that even if they did, the ripeness of some pants would not be welcome in the dining rooms across property) and because some guests are unwilling/unable to pay the exorbitant cost of having their laundry done for them by Loveless housekeeping, or sending it into town to be dry cleaned, there has been a run on second hand clothing offered at Hard Tack General Store.  Guys are snapping up anything that they can find, whether it fits or not, and regardless of condition.

This, of course, has created a situation which Mr. Billy Swallows at Suit Up has called dreadful, since our inhouse fashion guru says that you should never by anything too small, or you'll end up "looking like a fat whore in an Italian knit" (which he says he once called Elizabeth Taylor in Hollywood to her face during her Eddie Fisher/Richard Burton transition phase, and "What you did to Debbie Reynolds was really shitty, Liz"; he then turned around and walked away from her, slamming the door on her stall, while whistling "Tammy")

Will U. Bonus, Hard Tack manager, has found all of this highly amusing, not to mention lucrative. Not only that, but the tight shorts craze has even necessitated more men being released early from the Hoosegow, directly into the work-release program (which Manager Will oversees), just to handle the mobs of men in the shop pouring themselves into anything three sizes to small .  Come see the collection of "Fallout" gear at Hard Tack General Store: it's cheaper than having your laundry done at Loveless Motel.

378. Suit Up Sale just in time for Sweater Weather

Mr. Billy Swallows and his assistant Dante' DeWitt have told us they have a new shipment of sweaters for the cool weather.  Suit Up, the mens' atelier at Loveless Motel, is located off the lobby.   This graphic example should prove to be one of the season's most popular.

330. New Loveless Venue- Mr. Dick Gee's Hair and Now

Loveless Motel is excited to announce a new addition to our services -  Hair and Now, our men's salon, is now open off the lobby, under the expert hands of Hollywood stylist, Mr. Dick Gee, recommended to our operation by his admirer and former associate, Mr. Billy Swallows of Suit Up. His talents, as witnessed above, show one of his client's recent trans-formations which took place right after Mr. Dick spotted him arriving for his first stay during check in, and made him an offer he couldn't refuse, on the spot.

Here's Mr. Dick Gee who models one of the au courant fabulous finds he's already discovered at Suit Up, and has found a fast friend in our own Mr. Billy Swallows, owner of that same establishment.

294. Mustard Sweaters are "In" this fall at Loveless Motel

 Mustard and brown will be the "in" colors this fall, says our in-house fashion expert Mr. Billy Swallows, seen here on his lunch break, a few steps away from his duties at Suit Up, our very own atelier at Loveless Motel.

195. What a Coincidence!

 Can you imagine that on a busy summer weekend at Loveless Motel,  over at the Bunkhouse there would be 6 guys, strangers to each other; but while talking and dropping the soap in the shower, they discovered they all shared the name Marty?  To celebrate they all headed over to Suit Up, located off the lobby, where Mr. Billy

 Swallows and Mr. Dante' DeWitt were able to highlight their best assets (and frontsets)

193. The well-clothed man, and the nearly naked man

Our activities coordinator Jack Leyendecker has recently returned from a scouting trip and has hired a helper for the summer season here at Loveless Motel.  Business meets casual. Jack gets all his outfits directly from Mssrs. Swallows and Dewitt at Suit Up, located off the lobby.

191. Sizing You Up

Head over to Suit Up at Loveless Motel, for the latest in casual wear and mens suits.  Seen here is our tailor, Mr. Billy Swallows, right, along with his assistant Mr. Dante' Dewitt, sizing up their client, seated, whose measurements will be taken for the perfect fit. You guessed it; they're located off the lobby.