471. Dear Diary: Caught!

In a stunning development overnight, House Detective Harry Biggerstaff writes in his private journal that he has apprehended the jockstrap thief who has been plaguing The Bunkhouse for the past month,  He recounts that he had decided to award himself some personal R and R at the Tubs on what he thought would be a slow night, which since assuming his position as Loveless Motel's hotel dick has been one of the perks he most enjoyed.  Most of all, the ritual of slowly removing his clothes for any onlookers in the locker room, stowing his duds neatly away and producing from his old ditty bag, the container he was never without on a night he knew he would not be home, a toothbrush and his old worn jockstrap into which he changed, barely containing its contents;  to walk around in it was a performance he relished, knowing it was like bait to anyone present, particularly to those shy voyeurs he could later approach. "I see you enjoyed watching me in the locker room" was an opening that took most men by surprise, but paid off in results just the same. 

 And so this quiet evening was no exception.  Though in the dark he couldn't quite see his stalker's features, he sensed someone was watching, and proceeded with his show.  His next step as always was to walk through the hallway of private enclosures to see if any doors were open, to view any men pleasuring themselves or others, and in the absence of any obvious opportunities, head back to the locker area, slowly remove his jock, place it on a hook, stretching as he did so, for the added enjoyment of anyone watching, with his arms above his head and back arched so that his still-flaccid cock dangled momentarily before it began to come to life, and then he would turn to step into the nearby shower. This night, in the quiet semi-dark he could hear the squeak of another man's bare feet behind him as the hot water cascaded down his chest, his back to the hook on the wall, the water finding its way down his ass to the floor, making a splat sound as he soaped up. 

He's then startled as there's a deep intake of another man's breath with a snort sound, and whipping round, nearly loosing his balance on the wet tile, he sees a naked man with a jockstrap over his head, holding the crotch cup fabric to his nose with one hand , stroking his fist-wrapped meat with his other, while exhibiting the wide open eyes of one who's been caught red-handed.

"It's YOU!" Blurting and dumbfounded, Harry stands there soaked and dripping as the man grins back, begins to chuckle out loud, and between chortles and guffaws, Dr. John Long manages to gush out "I confess!"  To which Harry then says, barely containing his own upwelling laughter "I see you enjoyed watching me in the locker room!"

TO BE CONTINUED....

470. Yesteryear's Queers' Word of the Day #53 - Bear

Bear

A large and/or

hairy gay man

-1980s-

In 1979 Advocate published a satirical article by writer George Mazzei, entitled "Who's Who in the Zoo" which assigned, via the illustrations of cartoonist Gerald Donelan, animal bodies to several types of gay men, including bears, owls, cats, dogs, marmosets and swans. 

Not long thereafter, in 1987 Richard Bulger and Chris Nelson founded Bear Magazine which included models which fit the physical description.  Jack Radcliffe was an early model who epitomized the ideal "muscle bear" with a full and solid hairy body and handsome bearded face.

469. Coming out of hibernation at Loveless Motel

 

After Midnight Arcade has the newest issue of the Advocate available - just ask for the latest February issue, and while there, pick up a few back issues! Right now you can get the July 1979 issue at half off and entertain yourself with George Mazzei's article "Who's Who in the Zoo" with great illustrations by Advocate cartoonist Gerard Donelon, whose work we excerpt here. We've seen a few of these burly, furry creatures here latel and a few were observed skinny dipping recently - a misapplied name for an activity which doesn't quite cover these men, literally or figuratively speaking. It appears they would make a downright acceptable solution to those cold nights we've been having. Looks like we have a winner in the "Give me another gay label" contest. Bear meat, anybody?

468. Lake Loveless Polar Bear Club

Traditionally the first snow after Groundhog Day at Loveless Motel, the Polar Bear Club meets for its annual celebration of freezing your ass off in Lake Loveless, because the pursuit of non-stop indiscriminate and anonymous sex just isn't enough for some vacationers at our discreet little paradise. Central to the yearly observance is "Pops" Vielengelt, its original organizer and an Oshkosh, Wisconsin delicatessen owner who remembers the days when Edgar Loveless and Sinjin Birdwhistle entertained at Loveless Lodge. Never without the company of a youthful companion, this year he's treating us to the visage of his twin "nephews" who'll escort him into the frigid lake waters. He says their names are Dan and Don, and whenever he forgets their names, he only needs to sing the bell sounds of Frère Jacques in French ("din, dan, don") to keep himself out of trouble, which also serves as a reminder to him that they are uncut, whenever that happens to come up in conversation.

It's also traditional for Dr. John Long's phone to start ringing off the hook for the next several days as the foolishness of what our "Polar Bears" have done sinks into the heads of some of our more delicate little Pogies, Uranians, Margo Polos and Beach Bitches, necessitating a virtual gangbang of rectal thermometer use and pill-popping in the Doc's office. As if an all out free-for-all Bacchanalian romp after the antediluvian dip would make it all better..

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467. Skilled Laborers Needed for Nutbush Campground Completion

As Nutbush Campground nears final completion and its opening date, Loveless Motel management still needs a steady stream of men with special skills of all kinds. Apply in person for a speedy interview - limber, fit and versatile candidates go to the top of the labor pool list. Generous compensation and benefits included. Speak to Psycho Randy at the front desk. In particular, those with knowledge of hot mopping, flashing, tongue in groove and full penetration butt welds are eagerly sought.

466. Ride with Loveless - an excursion into town

Despite the groundhog saying otherwise, and his consequent fate as "Oxtail Soup" on the menu of Birdwhistle's Tearoom, the weather is nice enough this weekend to offer a Sunday excursion to interested men who might want to do some shopping and sightseeing in town.  Less than an hour away, you'll be transported from the bucolic charms of Loveless Motel and its surroundings to the very place you might have wanted to escape in the first place.  Based on past trips, we promise at the very least, some cheap entertainment.  Don't however, stay too long at the ball, as our bus will leave promptly from the drop-off location at precisely 8PM and a hotel room and cab ride back will cost you more than your weeklong stay with us.  We provide here a few pictures of our last Sunday excursion, including the bus driver, some townies, roadside attractions, a few of the fellows who attended, and the bus you wish you were on but won't be.  We recommend bringing along enough cash at a minimum for a late lunch and bail.

465. Snap Wadmacher Jackpot - Mr. Dick Gee's Brother

 

Mr. Dick Gee, Loveless Motel's resident hair burner, of Mr. Dick Gee's Hair and Now, (located off the lobby) informs us that his brother stayed briefly last week at the invitation of Snap Wadmacher, roving photographer of Shutter Bug Camera Shop.  Dick had shared that his brother, Mr. Solo Generosamente, needed two things during his visit: a haircut and a professional photo session to have a series of pictures available for placing an ad in a lonely hearts publication in his home city.  The resemblance is uncanny between Dick and his sibling; they certainly have the same hair - and as for other attributes, Dick tells us that his own moniker is a sobriquet - and quite a "handle" it is, so we hear.

  Snap has loaned a few pics for us to publish, with the permission of Solo, who has also agreed to his insertion into a souvenir calendar at an as yet unannounced date.  Solo had remained holed up in his room during his stay, only seeing Dick and Snap, and asked that the calendar not be published until he had left Loveless Motel. Asked why Dick thought Solo even needed to advertise, he said his brother has trouble fitting in and he just wants guys to know what they're in for in advance.  In other news, Snap Wadmacher informs us he is taking the week off, and will be recuperating from a recent physically taxing ordeal, while mostly in a standing position.

Snap Wadmacher - Still Standing